therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
