How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
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just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
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No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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