i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
