Ambien. No doubt about it.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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