i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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