sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
