His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize