Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
