pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
