Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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