i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
