"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's just like the Real World with babies
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i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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