I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
