margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This is not my ceiling
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
