I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
