I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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