we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
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20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
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fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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