You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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