Is it because I queefed?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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