When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
