I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
