Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
