Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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