So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
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this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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