we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
