he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
