My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
