Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
