Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
