We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
