I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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