It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
