Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize