her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
