Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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