im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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