I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
