I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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