I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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