I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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