I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
