im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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