I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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