Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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