no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
