im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
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YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
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We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse