wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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