if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
