ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
