Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Who died my cat blue again?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize