hotel room ftw
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
