You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
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Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize