I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
