nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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