Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
