i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
