i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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