the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
